Assessing an aging parent is often difficult. They can be really good at masking their difficulties, even when they are aware that they are slipping. Try to not deny what you are seeing. Do your best to observe and recognize changes before it becomes unsafe for your loved one.
Timing is everything, and talking to them about changes to their living environment in early stages of difficulties can help them feel included and help them buy-in. Getting their buy-in early is often easier than having to relocate them against their will if a home injury happens.
The good news is home injuries due to aging are more preventable than ever, thanks to modern advancements like stairlifts, modular ramps, and grab bars.
Red Flags of Aging
Look for Changes in Appearance or Mood
- Obvious changes in weight
- Lack of personal care/wearing the same clothes for several days
- Not getting dressed after starting their day
- Increased forgetfulness or distractibility
- Increased irritability or more easily upset than normal
Check out the Kitchen
- Expired food
- Bare refrigerator and/or pantry
- Multiples of the same food item
Check for Home Upkeep
- Neglected pets and plants
- Lack of cleanliness – especially in the kitchen and bathroom
- Home maintenance issues
- Excess clutter around the home
Review Their Mail
- Mail left in several locations around the house
- Unopened mail. Are there overdue bills?
- How is your loved one spending their money?
- Thank you letters from charities
- Packages from online ordering or TV purchases
Ride Along with Your Aging Parents
- Distracted, uneasy or careless driving
- Difficulty operating windshield wipers, lights, and turn signals
- Lack of car maintenance
- Putting gas in the car – can they easily operate the pump?
Talk to Their Neighbors
- Is your aging parent isolating themselves?
- Are neighbors and friends expressing concerns?
Assess Their Conversational Skills
- Do they initiate phone calls and conversations?
- Are there delays in answering questions?
- Are there a lot of “okays” in their responses? “I’m ok,” “It’s ok”, “That’s ok.”
If you find your loved one displays many of the characteristics on this list, it might be time to have a transparent discussion with them.
